Clarity and Direction
Clarity and direction. Two things that I feel I haven’t had much off in the past 18 months, I did not understand what was going on in my life. I tried to trust, wait, pray, listen to people, listen to myself and still the answers did not come, or so I thought. I did not realise that I needed these past 18 months to happen, that (although it was hell) I was right were I needed to be. I now understand that my life does have purpose and direction. I was being tested to enable me to grow.
In this time I was being changed, healed, and transformed at levels deeper than I could have ever imagined. I was being brought back to my true self. I had fallen of course, even though I believed at the time that I was putting myself back on track, finding my truer self, which I may have been doing, but the universe wanted it to happen at a faster rate, a much faster rate and for that to happen the universe had to disrupt my life in a major way. In the past, I believed a few times that I had hit rock bottom, but what I went through showed me that rock bottom has a basement.
I now know that I can become peaceful, that I will become peaceful. I do not have to act in haste and urgency just to get away from my discomfort, just to get an answer. I can wait until my mind is peaceful. I can wait for clear direction. Clarity will come. The answers will come, and they will be good for me, and those around me.
Good things, beyond my capacity to imagine, are being prepared and brought to me. I am being led and guided. And I must trust, especially when I feel confused and without direction. I must trust and wait until my mind and vision are clear and consistent. It is hard to do and I sometimes struggle with the answers that I get. I recently learnt how to dowse and even some of those answers didn’t sit right at the time, a few weeks later and I know that they do make complete sense. I was trying to run away and dowsing told me that I don’t have to.
I’m now at a slight cross-roads as I’ve been planning on running away to another country for over a year now, however, everything seems to be falling into place where I am now. To go or not to go is the question. I have planned a trip to go away for five or six weeks and to semi job search whilst I’m away but at the same time I’ve also planned what to do when I come home and I really love that plan.
For now, I think I need to take this one-day at a time. The answers will come and it will all unfold as the universe had always planned for me.